Feeling blessed.

For a while I have thought about posting this but either I haven't got around to it or didn't really know what to say or just wanted to keep such a special memory to myself but I have recently had this urge to post something about this picture.

 

 

A diaper? I know it's so odd but I will keep this picture forever.

I had just bathed Kellin, he loves his bath, he just will lay there and sometimes even fall asleep because he is so calm and content. Well I had just gotten done and was wrapping him up in his cute little hooded towel and when I turned around and his diaper was on the ground. I just stood there for a while and looked it then started crying. I was so happy. So I took a picture. A while later cody saw this picture and said why in the world do you have a picture of kellins dirty diaper? It's something so silly but I Never thought that I would ever get to see a diaper on my floor from MY baby and now I have this amazing happy boy who I get to cuddle with every single day. I was so overwhelmed by just happiness and thankfulness that I was chosen to be a mom.

 

If you have read my posts before, finding out that I was 4 months pregnant with Kellin was a complete shock. I was told by numerous doctors that I would even be able to get pregnant. They couldn't really give me a good reason why but just that it was nearly impossible. I always put up a front to people saying that it was ok if I never had kids.. I wanted to travel and work and whatever. When deep down every time I heard about people having kids or those who were having kids who didn't "want" kids then it made me so sad inside. I knew that I wanted my own kids but ever since I heard those doctors tell me I couldn't I had my heart set on adopting. When we decided to move to the Philippines I was actually the most excited because I thought being out here would help my chances in adopting a child. I did a lot of research and I told cody that us moving to the Philippines also meant trying to adopt a little Filipino:) Of course that changed a little when I found out I was pregnant. Anyways this whole post is about a couple things. Do I know if I will be able to have more kids? Personally I do. I don't see why not but will I be disappointed if kellin is my only child? Of course not! I have been asked if I would be sad or mad and I have really thought about that and I really would not. I am soaking in every second that I have with my little boy and not taking a single day for granted. I cant wait for him to call me mom and to cry when he doesn't want me to leave the room. I cant wait for him to sit and watch football with his dad and be a daddy's boy. When I saw that diaper on the ground I felt like the luckiest person in the world. When he wakes up in the morning and I walk into his room and he is just laying there in his crib, his eyes spot me and he smiles so big I feel so blessed that he is mine. I hope I can be a good example and loving mom to him so he will always know that he is loved. Also if you are struggling with having kids, or you have been told that its not in the cards for you to have babies don't loose faith. I did. That's one of my biggest regrets was I listened and I honestly thought I would never be able to hold my own baby on my chest right after they are born. Maybe the doctors are right and I wasn't supposed to have kellin but maybe they were completely wrong and I wont have any problems in the future. That is something we will have to wait and see. Until then I will love this little boy with all my heart, I will love every cry at 2 in the morning, every time he needs me and I will love every single diaper left on my floor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

little update

So we have been back in Bacolod for about six weeks now, we have been patiently waiting for kacey and landon to get back and they finally did about a week ago! but while we were here alone we needed to keep ourselves busy. We went swimming, we had dinner at the parks, we drove to Sipalay to the beach and tried some new amazing foods. It was also Chinese new year and Bacolod shut down the busiest street in town to set up a three day festival full of food, dancing and music. We stick out like sore thumbs at places like this but we decided to go anyways and I'm happy we did it was way fun! Here is some pictures of that,

 

Once a week we have packed up our dinner and drove to the park by our house. While we are there we get asked by almost everyone for money so we have learned to take a handful of coins to give out when the little kids come up to us.  Its so funny  people come stand in front of us while we are eating and just stare at kellin. haha it is ok though we enjoy getting out the the park is beautiful

 

 

We also took a little trip to Sipalay Philippines. its just this little beach town that we heard about. Me and cody decided to just go, we followed a map on our phones and we prayed we would not get lost. It was about a three hour drive and we actually did ok! we didn't even get lost. But this is a place I would Love to visit again!

 

This is the view from our hotel

He wasn't a big fan of a swimming suit

The ladies at our hotel Loved him!

 

So since we have been here the weather has not been so great. But the past couple weeks the sun finally came out and so we decided to see if kellin liked our swimming pool. I think he would have done a little better if he wasn't tired but he cried at first and then after a few minutes still seemed uncomfortable, I got him out and wrapped him in his towel and he was out!

 

 

Kacey and Landon finally got here and needless to say Payson is obsessed with Kellin and Cody. And I finally got to meet my adorable niece Brightyn

 

This is right after they got off there plane, he would not let him go

 

pays likes to share his bows too..........

 

 

 

So that's about all that has happened lately, exciting huh....

well i'll leave you with THE sweetest picture I took of kellin, he is such a happy baby, it might take a little bit to get used to payson and his "love" for kellin but we are lovin every second with our babe.